There are about five "healthy" options in the diner's entire menu and so few people want them I don't even know where these meals are in the computer database I use to place orders. Diners are known for providing quick and greasy food, so I'm sure most dieters and members of the health conscious community steer clear of these establishments all together, but still, some things people order are just absurd. Sometimes I'm impressed by the creativity people use to turn a healthy meal into a delicious explosion of calories. You would be astounded by the amount of people I've witnessed struggling to squeeze themselves into diner booths and on several occasions I've had to try to tactfully advise customers to change tables for the sake of their own comfort. The looks on the faces of these people are incredibly heartbreaking, but my feelings for them become torn when they still order a chicken cheesesteak with extra provolone cheese and mayonnaise...but don't forget the diet Pepsi!
This week's Picture People conference call was thoroughly scathing. Territory manager was "deeply disappointed in this past weekend's performances." This weekend will likely include a surprise visit from this boss that I've never seen before, so rest assured I will be constantly on edge, dreaming anxious dreams, skipping lunch break so that I can babysit my partner, PPL, and on my best, overcompensating behavior from Friday through Sunday. Territory Manager feels that anything less than ten sessions per day in unacceptable, so from now on if we don't reach our goals each day he will call and assail our ears with more insincere business tactics and terminology. It's my opinion that Petco's contract with the Picture People is a last, dying attempt to garner more revenue--so, that being said, here's my valid, supportable question: what if my Petco only gets about ten customers per day?
I'm sorry if I offend any animal lovers, but I truly think that if you buy anything more than food, essential care items (flea medicine, etc.) and the occasional toy for your pet, you are mindlessly complying with the well-oiled machine that is the pet supply industry. Seriously, do you really need:
- doggy rain coats,
- doggy life preservers (I do believe it's called the "doggy paddle" for a reason),
- toy mice with "realistic mouse sounds!",
- ferret t-shirts with phrases like "Grin and 'Ferret'",
- holiday pet toys (I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think animals follow religion or celebrate holidays),
- Bed Head, a high-end hair product company's animal equivalent, Pet Head,
- or professional pet portraits by the Picture People?
No comments:
Post a Comment